It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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