i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
