i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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