I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
