i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
