Pants 0. Shit 1.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
