She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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