I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
