I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
