what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
