Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
