I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
