Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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