You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
