just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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