I wanna bring you to show and tell
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
