For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize