I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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