okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
