you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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