Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
