he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
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I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
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So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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