Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
