i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
