My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
