apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
