I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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