i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
