oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
