I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Success! We fucked roommates!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
