i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
