oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do vagina's smell?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
