yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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