It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
