no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize