If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
