Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
