shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
