weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
