the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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