Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
