ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
