Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
