thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize