The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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