do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
