So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
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Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
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There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
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