Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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