i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
