Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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