everyone is single if you try hard enough
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
