I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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