Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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