Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
