just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The struggles of a small town man whore
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
