Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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