i think my mom watched the whole time
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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