I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize