# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
