Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
