my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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