I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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