My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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