It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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