oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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