I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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