Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
